Since I became Mom, one of my most memorable Mother’s Days was when I explicitly laid out the day: Take the morning to go to church by myself. Go to a café with my scrapbooking bags and create Will’s life book, his story from birth. Have my three boys plant a Magnolia tree plant in the front yard. Eat one of Bill’s delicious dinners. That was the year I took the time to plan it. It was gorgeous – for all involved. One of my first Mother’s Days as a Mom I spent in Iowa at my sister’s with her kids and my mom. Three moms together. I don’t even know what we did. It didn’t really matter because we were together. And I love that picture of us – family – together on Mother’s Day.
No plan for this year. I’m avoiding the creation of a delicate balance: quiet time for something I enjoy on my own vs time together with the family. I haven’t made a plan. Planning is not my strong suit this spring. As much as I try, I miss the details and make mis-assumptions when making plans. Case in point: a recent non-soccer-mom day taking Liam to his 8 a.m. practice.
Arriving late for the 8 a.m. soccer practice, I scope the field for the team with the same dark navy blue t-shirt as Liam has on. (Bill took him to the first practice, so I don’t know who the coaches are or what they look like.) Scanning Field 1… Field 2… Field 3… Field 4, it’s soon apparent EACH of the FOUR teams is wearing the SAME color shirt! This age group wears the same color shirt. Little League is much more sophisticated: each team wears a different color.
I approach coaches on Field 1 & Field 2 to see if Liam is on their roster. No luck. I notice that each team has a different sponsor name on the back of their shirt. I peek inside Liam’s jacket and see “Harry’s Donuts.” Rather than stopping the practice of the other two teams, I look for the sponsor name. No where. I ask the coach on Field 3 if Liam is on his team, and I mention the fact that I can’t see “Harry’s Donuts” on anyone’s shirt.
At which point, Liam starts to sob, “This is last year’s shirt! That’s not what’s on this year’s shirt!!” We find the manager who happens to be English and happens to know Bill. “Hey, Liam! Come on over buddy! Here’s your team!” On Field 4.
I, non-soccer-Mom, cower at the far end near Field 1 – well away from Liam. With me out of sight, he will have a better practice.
Yes. Please. I want a break from the word “plan.” Yet by not making a plan that puts stress on the rest of the family to please me. How about I make a list of options and let the fam do the plan?
Here goes… Buy perennials Work in my new flower garden Bill’s pork paprika for dinner Homemade cards from the kids A walk on the beach Skype with Mom Read a book in the middle of the afternoon Watch “Julie and Julia” with Bill at 8 p.m. Skip brushing Will & Liam’s teeth before bed
A few of those will happily fill my Mother's Day.
Hugs to all moms, particularly one 1,600 miles away. I wish we were planting flowers together.