toilet

4 Squares, 4 Squares, Flush

At 5:30 this morning, I wake up thinking about one thing I didn’t get done yesterday.  And that thought leads to one small question: Will “4 Squares, 4 Squares, Flush” fit on a small notecard?  Mom allowed three squares, so four at double-ply seems more than sufficient.  My boys should be so lucky. Mom doesn’t remember ever setting TP limits, and she laughed at my recall of that being a factual statement.  However, at last night’s meeting, nearly all of the women in my book club had the same experience growing up.  Our moms set clear limits as to how much toilet paper could be used.

Our brand new Kohler toilet can’t keep up with the current demand.  The plunger method only partially worked before Christmas.  Last week, well, I just wasn’t going there again.  Instead, I decided to talk to the toilet.  Even seeing 50 – 100 squares in floating blobs, I felt power supreme.  Me and my new toilet of less than 6 months.  Pushing that handle would have to work.  My final words before dialing Roto Rooter Saturday night: “No, no, no!  Don’t do that!”  And… it listened.  Peaking at near overflow.  I locked the door, pulled it shut, and scheduled an evening Roto Rooter appointment.

“Yeah, I see your problem.  Worst toilet on the market.  And it looks like you’re probably using Charmin too.  You need to get an American Standard and one-ply toilet paper.”

And, now, you need to unclog my toilet with your fancy auger.  $198 and 5 seconds later, my toilet worked like new.

Even if my 3x5 notecards don’t work, and I need to buy 5x8 notecards to make signs for the bathroom, they are cheaper than a new toilet to replace my new toilet.

Plus, if I don’t do this, how will my sons know how to set TP limits with their children?

And, with this new “4 Squares, 4 Squares, Flush” guideline, the necessity of hand-washing may be solidified.

Also, we can have a brief discussion of resource allocation; after all, $198 would buy a very big LEGOS set.  And that opportunity has gone.  Right down the toilet.

Yes, this potty talk is pure opportunity.